Door-to-Door Religion, or Why am I Afraid of the Jehovah's Witnesses?

I'm sitting in my kitchen making the most of the weather when suddenly I spot two smartly dressed men approaching my door and I immediately know who they are and why they are here.
I have two options. Open the door and greet them, or cower and hide. I choose the latter every time, as do most people in this situation. But why?
These men pose no threat, other than a mere inconvenience, and yet I treat them as though they were highly contagious. But who is to blame in this situation. Them or me?

Let's look at the Jehovah's Witnesses first.
First of all there are always two of them and they are always well dressed, normally in a white shirt and black tie and trousers. Often they carry a satchel or briefcase containing various bits of literature on Jesus and God. In other words, you can normally spot one coming from a distance, which is nice as it's kinda like a messenger announcing his presence in a castle.
When at your door they only ring once, or knock the appropriate amount of times (three?) and never hang about for longer than a minute, even if they know someone is inside the house. They might leave you a leaflet through the door, but it's small and easily disposed of.
They are always polite, which in this day and age is a very rare trait to find in a person, however once they start talking they do seem hard to stop (if only because you feel rude trying to interrupt them). But tell them you aren't interested and they thank you for your time and leave.
And then it's over.

Now consider a chugger, or other unwanted door person.
Normally they are dressed in rags (if asking for contribution to something) or over-dressed if looking for (political) support. Others dress like the rest of us, luring us into that false sense of security to open the door in the event that it might be something worthwhile.
They will hang around your door for a while, especially if they know someone is in, often guilt-tripping the house-owner to answer the door just for hanging around for so long. If by chance you resist opening the door you are instead greeted by the sound of a thousand dead trees hitting your door mat - leaflets and booklets about every minor detail that you purposely avoided trying to find out about.
Now the people themselves aren't exactly rude but they always go off on some little tale on how something happened and how they are the only ones who can fix it (or how you can, if they want money). By this point you can look like a complete bastard and refuse or give in and let them take your dignity.
In short, it's not a pleasant experience.

So between the two, the one you would most hope for would be a Jehovah's Witness right? Right?
Wrong?
Why? Because I feel so damn bad turning them down.
They have done absolutely nothing to offend me. All they want is to try to talk about the thing they are most passionate about (like I would tell my friends about a great game of golf I just had) and my response is to tell them "Not interested" and close the door in their face.
It's not like they are standing on the street corners shouting passages from the bible. They aren't strapping explosives to their bodies, killing innocents in the hope of getting laid in heaven. They are just knocking on my door hoping to have a chat. And I won't let them.

I'm not exactly anti-social, and I certainly don't mind telling people to sod off, but for some reason I just can't bring myself to doing it to these people.
Part of what scares me I guess is that they are willing to go door-to-door in the first place, willing to subject themselves to the sneers and jibes of the arseholes they try to talk to.
I couldn't go door-to-door, not in a million years. I'm just not that brave. And the fact there are people who are that brave, in this day and age, scares me.

I had another experience a few years back where some other people knocked on my door (an old couple, in plain clothes, the bastards) and I opened it like a chump. They were peddling some religion (I can't remember which) but the audacity with which they were trying to shove it down my throat prompted me in having some fun of my own.
I'm not exactly proud of this (a lie, I am), but I pretended I was part of this great organisation (I think I called it 'The Children of Alphamus Prime') where we believed we were all the children of aliens and that by acknowledging our true heritage would mean we would be chosen to return to the home world (I promise this was NOT inspired by any current cult religion...).
Anyway, they became somewhat unsettled by my rantings about aliens and space, especially when I tried to "recruit" them into the organisation.
They pretty much hurried off, ignoring the other houses on the street.

But I could never do this to the Jehovah's Witnesses.
I keep telling myself that one of these days I'll open the door, tell them I'm not interested but try to talk about something else. Sport or movies or hell heck, even the weather. But I never do. Because I'm a wuss.
If it's a hot, sunny day I could always invite them in for a cold drink. Praise them for what they are doing even if I'm not one of their target audiences (I mean who in this world still is able to be swayed by a door-to-door religious person?). But I don't, because I'm a wuss.
Part of me is curious to know if someone does invite them in how they would react. Would they be put off because it rarely happens (that first episode of Black Books springs to mind) or they be happy someone actually cared?

So there it is.
In a world where disease and war and famine and horrible, horrible things happen, there's still some people out there who mean us no harm.
And I can't even bring myself to open the door for them.

Daily Happenings (24/06/13) - Evening Edition

Had a good day? Think again.


NHS or Tesco?
Doctors rebuke suggestions to make hospitals more customer friendly like Tesco did.
Hmm...Tesco actually care about their customers, but the NHS does not. Tesco doesn't kill people at the weekend, but the NHS makes you 44% more likely to die.
So it may not be a fair comparison but something needs to be done to curb these late-week fatalities.
Premium pays for weekend workings are out of the question and shifting labour across the full week will apparently make things worse at the beginning of the week. So what's the next step forward?
Give the doctors less pay. If they want to slack off for the weekend, that's fine by me. But why should I pay their salary.

Berlusconi Guilty
The law has finally told us exactly what we knew all along.
At least his global media empire didn't sway the outcome...yet.
I doubt he will actually get his sentenced jail time for this. Just another re-election.

Nelson Mandela Condition Critical
It's a sad state of affairs for such a respected individual, but we have to accept that all humans, even those responsible for saving millions, will die eventually.
There's not much else Mr Mandela can do with his life. It's up to others to carry on his good deeds and let him rest for once.

Carrey Does U-Turn of Opinions
Jim Carrey was always a big fan of the Kick-Ass movie, an ultra-violent superhero comedy and voiced his gratitude when he won a role in the sequel Now it seems he wishes he didn't due to the Sandy Hook shootings.
There's no doubt that the Kick-Ass movies are overtly violent (that was their main base of appeal), but why criticise a movie you voiced strong support for just because of a sudden burst of real world violence? Media relations perhaps?
I would go on to say it's because it happened in domestic America and not some city in the Middle-East but something tells me I probably shouldn't...not just yet.

'Lawrence' Smear Campaign Investigation
The Met should just apologise now, regarless whther the accusations are true or not.
They do an excellent job, don't get me wrong, but like most organisations out there, they have a lot of skeletons in the closet and they need to atone for them.

Daily Happenings (19/06/13)

A slight absence from posts..holidays and whatnot...the world may be turning to shit but it doesn't mean I can't at least try to enjoy what little there is left to enjoy.
Anyway, the latest...


Banking Reforms?
It finally seems as though the system has caught up, with reckless bankers to be rewarded with a luxury hotel room a prison cell rather than a million pound bonus.

Hospital Cover-Up
To be more precise, for there are a lot of NHS cover-ups these days, this is related to the deaths surrounding mothers and babies.
I'm glad we have the NHS, make no doubt about it. We don't have the fascist regime that America suffers from. Instead, we have a corrupt government run organisation that takes as much money from the tax payers as possible, with very little returning to the patients. I myself opt for private care after going to numerous NHS GP's and finding they did not seem interested in what was wrong with me but instead guessed to what my symptoms could be.
As far as the cover-up goes, people everywhere in the UK are being screwed by their local health care organisations but no one is speaking out against it. About 80% of people are doing their jobs in the NHS but it's up to the public to wrangle out that 20% who don't care whether you survive or not.

Radioactive Material Found Near Fukishima Plant
Bad news for Japanese locals but equally bad news for nuclear power in general.
The sudden panic over the safety of nuclear power was blown completely out of proportion (I'm blaming the oil companies) because of one incident which, severe as it was, was due to poor safety checks.
Nuclear power is one of the most reliable ways of sustaining power for the future and it is currently in complete jeopardy due to public fears over the Fukishima incident, fears that are going to be elevated now due to current findings.

TV License Fees Used as Pay-Off
After all the fuss the BBC make over ensuring we pay our licenses, we can now see why. It's apparently so they can pay off their staff so they don't report the nasty stuff happening within the walls of the studio.
To be fair I'm more annoyed at the employees who allowed themselves to be bought off. They obviously didn't care about the morally just course of action to take the money but if they shipped out their story to another studio they could probably make three times the amount the BBC offered them.

YouTube Claims Rihanna is Bigger Than Bieber
And no one cares.
Oh wait, sorry. That's me living in an ideal world.
Unfortunately 85% of this culturally obsessed world of idiots care. On the plus side, at least Rihanna has some form of talent.

Daily Happenings (04/06/13)

It looks to be another sunny day. Shame the news is always so gloomy then.


Wealthiest Britons Hit by Reccession
Erm...good?
I'm sorry to those of you who actually put in a lot of effort to get your high salaries, but welcome to the real England. Feel free to enjoy the budgeted family meals and cheap holiday deals.
It's about time the recession worked its way up. After all, how can we expect any real improvements to be made when the people who caused the bloody thing haven't been affected yet.

Eat Less Meat, Save the World
Holy crap, looks like the veggies were right.
New finding suggest that by cutting down on meat for just a couple of days a week it could help relief the pressure on the international food market, helping bring down the prices of staple foods (used as animal feed) as well as stop deforestation, help developing countries etc. Going veggie really seems to be the way forward.
Or not. I like my meat.
There's nothing more satisfying than a 12oz piece of steak, cooked rare with a hot pepper sauce.
But if all it takes is just two meat-free days to save the world, I think that's a fair compromise.

Cash Incentives for Militant Info
The US is offering a potentially huge sum of cash for any information regarding militant activity in Africa. It's a nice incentive but is it the right move?
People are already saying it will attract the likes of mercenaries and bounty hunters but maybe that's not such a bad thing. These are people who don't care if they die or not, therefore it saves soldiers lives (I know they also know what they are getting into, but in most cases they end up in conflicts that should have been avoided to begin with).
The obvious downside is hired work tend to follow their own rules, so there's no telling who would get harmed in the process of them reaching their goal.
Mixed views on this one.

Apple and the e-book Lawsuit
I like how everyone else admitted what they had done but here's Apple proving that they are still tainted of any wrongdoing.
They have pretty much enough money to take on every major government right now, so I'm guessing they are just going to go forward and throw as much money at the system until the other side run out. It's one way to absolve you of any crime.

Cameron Pledges to Target Islamic Extremists
No. Wrong. Don't even try it.
The conundrum that is free speech prevents this from ever being a good idea, as the affected party will always end up in the favour of the public.
I'm not saying we shouldn't do something about it, because we definitely should, but a new approach needs to be taken. There will always be a source but if you take away the ears it falls on then you know longer have any problems. Much like with BNP/EDL/other racist organisations. You just end up a mad-man preaching hate.

Wetherspoon's to Open Motorway Pub
Is it just me or does this just not make any sense?

The Sponsored Underground

"This is Bank. The next station is Liverpool Street, brought to you by McDonald's."
Doesn't quite have the same ring to it...

The Tories have mentioned plans to look at the idea of allowing big name companies to sponsor London Tube Stations, going as far to even allow them to rename the station if they cough up enough change.
Before we delve into why this proposal is evil reincarnate, the possibilities of such a deal aren't too bad, with enough money generated to 'fix' travel rates (not bad seeing as how expensive travel in London already is) and more money can be spent in refurbishment, so the next time you go to Paris or Barcelona, you won't feel so jealous.
Sure travel will get a lot more confusing, especially if the names change, but if it's cheaper I can't see too many people caring.

Now for the evil bit. Ready?

This is capitalism and consumerism gone entirely wrong.
If we allow companies to sponsor the Underground then where does it stop?
Buildings will be next, councils and Burroughs, towns and cities. Hell, if we're not careful England will literally be wiped off the map, replaced with a harsh fonted Murdoctopia. (Scotland's already doing it's best to avoid Trumptown).

Surely we haven't reached the stage where there isn't enough money getting put into the system to have to avoid resorting to product placement and advertising?
Are you saying that the £25 I spent to travel to London for the day, more than the cost of why I went to London in the first place, isn't enough?

Bullshit.
If you hadn't spent all my money on a diamond toilet seat or a new house for you third mistress, we probably wouldn't have this situation.
If you'd spent all the money given to you wisely the stations wouldn't be in such disrepair.
If you really wanted to look after you loyal citizens we wouldn't have to pay so much to travel in the first place.

Advertising is one of those annoying evils that are necessary in the world. They help bring money to the companies that employ the rest of us, giving us barely enough money to keep ourselves moving onto the next day so we can make the corporate fat-cats even richer.

No thank-you. Find a better alternative.

Daily Happenings (03/06/13)

What fresh slew of hell hath the world brought upon us this day?


Cat Gets Movie Deal
This is news? Seriously?
The online sensation Grumpy Cat (I say sensation for all those bored and lonely nitwits who find solace in those pointlessly ridiculous cat photos) is getting a movie. Because everybody wants to see a movie about a Grumpy Cat who you can already watch online for free.
Oh, and the movie is being tooted as 'by the same guys who brought you Jack and Jill'.
Something tells me the film will bomb so hard that even the cat's nine lives won't be enough to save it.
Then again, look at the world we live in. It will probably overtake Avatar as the top grossing movie ever.

Game Tech Pioneer Killed
There's been a fair slew of murders and deaths lately but this tragic event also showcases something that is often left out of the media.
Police Car Chases are dangerous and can cause severe injury, especially as the suspect driver(s) often have nothing left to lose and are therefore stressed and reckless. In this case, a fleeing gang member drove into a crowded street and struck an innocent bystander, Oculous Rift Developer Andrew Reisse.
It's always shocking that we can never be safe, even in public.

More Police Staff Compensations
Another staff member has claimed compensation to the tune of £8000 because they were too dumb to look where they were walking and tripped over a pile of paper.
You'd have thought getting a job in the police would entitle you to being more observant but this is just a sad case of people wanting to make easy money. I'm not criticising compensation claims, as they can be pretty serious, but this just takes the piss.
No wonder the police force is making all the cuts.

A Political Affair
The news of a high profile affair within government is slowly making it's rounds, with forecasts stating that it could be a death blow to the coalition.
Seriously? An extramarital affair is the reason to bring down a government?
I'm not saying it's right to have an affair but in this day and age almost 1 in 5 people have affairs, so if you were to humiliate and discredit anyone who was ever involved in one chances are there'd be very few people running the country.
The affair hasn't harmed the public in any way. They haven't siphoned of millions of pounds to fund their romance. Why should we care? Oh yes, because we always have to bitch about every little detail that isn't perfect.

Radical Converted in Prison
Here's no surprise. Prison actually didn't help someone reform.
A man admits to plotting to assassinate Prince Harry, claiming he was converted while in prison.
The prison system needs a dramatic overhaul. We can't just keep shoving people in hoping they emerge a better person, because they won't (unless you count them emerging as a better criminal).

Fire at Chinese Poultry Farm
It's a sad story, especially for the people who tragically perished, however China is notorious for its poor safety standards. Hopefully the outcome will be a tightening of safety laws across the country.

House of Lords Debate Gay Marriage
The bill is in the House of Lords. It's so great that this segment of government made up by the richest and most privileged men exist in the UK. Their sole purpose? To block anything that may change England for the better.
There is talk about pressure being put on the Lords (especially the Bishops) to abstain from the vote. I'm all for gay marriage but they have the right to be complete backwards arseholes and say no. It might be a set back for the gay community but at least we'll get an indication of how many of Britain's most privileged are homophobic.

Age of Retirement Could Be 70
So you will literally be working until the day you die.
It's all down to how much you save and how early you start.
Isn't life just great.

Prince William Reminds Public of the Importance of Learning to Swim
He also unintentionally reminds us that humans are one of the few species who need to actually learn how to swim.

More Jolie Support
You'd have thought Jolie was the only woman who'd ever had a double masectomy in the first place with all the media attention she's getting.
I hope she's actually doing some good to the cause for breast cancer because to me it just seems like she's prancing around in front of the cameras looking good while the rest of the world forget that there are people actually dying of the disease.

Catholic Churches too Modern
According to the vatican anyway.
For a religion that is seeing large numbers of people leaving, they don't seem to have their priorities right.
I agree that it's all about the symbolism but in all fairness, if I was to stand around for one hour listening to how my life is a sin and how I should repent, I'd much rather do it in an architecturally impressive room than a cold, dingy stone building.