What fresh slew of hell hath the world brought upon us this day?
Cat Gets Movie Deal
This is news? Seriously?
The online sensation Grumpy Cat (I say sensation for all those bored and lonely nitwits who find solace in those pointlessly ridiculous cat photos) is getting a movie. Because everybody wants to see a movie about a Grumpy Cat who you can already watch online for free.
Oh, and the movie is being tooted as 'by the same guys who brought you Jack and Jill'.
Something tells me the film will bomb so hard that even the cat's nine lives won't be enough to save it.
Then again, look at the world we live in. It will probably overtake Avatar as the top grossing movie ever.
Game Tech Pioneer Killed
There's been a fair slew of murders and deaths lately but this tragic event also showcases something that is often left out of the media.
Police Car Chases are dangerous and can cause severe injury, especially as the suspect driver(s) often have nothing left to lose and are therefore stressed and reckless. In this case, a fleeing gang member drove into a crowded street and struck an innocent bystander, Oculous Rift Developer Andrew Reisse.
It's always shocking that we can never be safe, even in public.
More Police Staff Compensations
Another staff member has claimed compensation to the tune of £8000 because they were too dumb to look where they were walking and tripped over a pile of paper.
You'd have thought getting a job in the police would entitle you to being more observant but this is just a sad case of people wanting to make easy money. I'm not criticising compensation claims, as they can be pretty serious, but this just takes the piss.
No wonder the police force is making all the cuts.
A Political Affair
The news of a high profile affair within government is slowly making it's rounds, with forecasts stating that it could be a death blow to the coalition.
Seriously? An extramarital affair is the reason to bring down a government?
I'm not saying it's right to have an affair but in this day and age almost 1 in 5 people have affairs, so if you were to humiliate and discredit anyone who was ever involved in one chances are there'd be very few people running the country.
The affair hasn't harmed the public in any way. They haven't siphoned of millions of pounds to fund their romance. Why should we care? Oh yes, because we always have to bitch about every little detail that isn't perfect.
Radical Converted in Prison
Here's no surprise. Prison actually didn't help someone reform.
A man admits to plotting to assassinate Prince Harry, claiming he was converted while in prison.
The prison system needs a dramatic overhaul. We can't just keep shoving people in hoping they emerge a better person, because they won't (unless you count them emerging as a better criminal).
Fire at Chinese Poultry Farm
It's a sad story, especially for the people who tragically perished, however China is notorious for its poor safety standards. Hopefully the outcome will be a tightening of safety laws across the country.
House of Lords Debate Gay Marriage
The bill is in the House of Lords. It's so great that this segment of government made up by the richest and most privileged men exist in the UK. Their sole purpose? To block anything that may change England for the better.
There is talk about pressure being put on the Lords (especially the Bishops) to abstain from the vote. I'm all for gay marriage but they have the right to be complete backwards arseholes and say no. It might be a set back for the gay community but at least we'll get an indication of how many of Britain's most privileged are homophobic.
Age of Retirement Could Be 70
So you will literally be working until the day you die.
It's all down to how much you save and how early you start.
Isn't life just great.
Prince William Reminds Public of the Importance of Learning to Swim
He also unintentionally reminds us that humans are one of the few species who need to actually learn how to swim.
More Jolie Support
You'd have thought Jolie was the only woman who'd ever had a double masectomy in the first place with all the media attention she's getting.
I hope she's actually doing some good to the cause for breast cancer because to me it just seems like she's prancing around in front of the cameras looking good while the rest of the world forget that there are people actually dying of the disease.
Catholic Churches too Modern
According to the vatican anyway.
For a religion that is seeing large numbers of people leaving, they don't seem to have their priorities right.
I agree that it's all about the symbolism but in all fairness, if I was to stand around for one hour listening to how my life is a sin and how I should repent, I'd much rather do it in an architecturally impressive room than a cold, dingy stone building.
